Teach them it's okay to ask 'what?'
It's basic. It's what we return to, too. Now I'm losing my hearing I don't shout 'why are you asking that existential question of me, your husband by the archaic traditions of Christianity?!' from a different room. I yell 'WHAT?'
Teach kids it's okay to be who they are, and to ask questions. When they've got that, then maybe they can be cool enough to answer other people when they ask 'what?'
Everything else will fall into place. Learning isn't complicated. It's just Lego, and 'what' is the building block.
'What the fuck?' is obviously a more complex question, but we'll get to that in part two...which is never.